So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
