You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
