If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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