his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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