I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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