I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
