Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
