69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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