we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
