I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm lost and stupid without you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
