If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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