I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
