D3 body, D1 cock
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
