dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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