You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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