this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
