I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Buhtt sex?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
meet me or not, i'm out of control
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
