with your own penis?
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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