I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
