his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
