Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
