I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
