I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
