Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
