WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she pinky promised me she was 18
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's shark week go big or go home
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
