Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
