ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
