I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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