They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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