Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
