Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
