sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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