I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
