what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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