The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
