can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
