Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
