I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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