he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Life without a bra equals bliss.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
