Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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