i think i scared a bird with my dick
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
