worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
