what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
