my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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