Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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