Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
