turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
