If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
where am i from again
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
