I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
