he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
