Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
