so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
